In the wake of Donald Trump being handed his eviction notice from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by a majority of the landlords, a good slice of America finds itself wandering about the virtual information desert desperately seeking a place go plant their textual flag and continue being recognized as part of the screeching conversation that has basically become our daily diet of dirt and discourse. 

This is the part of America who believes they have been minimized and unceremoniously shoveled into dark recesses of the overall conversation because they are the only ones daring to tell the truth and expose the true American enemies for the liberal wretches they are. Citing nonsensical data and quoting any attorney they can find to support their shaky and mostly laughable position, they remain resolute in their belief that the 2020 election will be overturned. 

So enraged are they at a free social media app which has every right to limit who uses their service, which is what one can do when an entity is privately owned and makes their own rules, these staunch defenders of personal freedom have reached their Rorschach test and decided they will go where they are appreciated and have a REAL, no-holds barred voice in making America great again. 

Oops, is that still a thing? Quick, call the lawyers and ensure we’re not about to be hammered into court for some type of infringement. 

I digress.

As social media finally gets his grimy electronic hands around the real purpose of the Internet, to shovel as much bovine excrement as possible while hiding behind the anonymous shield of phony handles, troll farms and using memes because one has barely a rudimentary handle on how to converse in either print or by verbal manner, places such as Facebook and Twitter have grudgingly been pulled into reality and taken what at this stage amount to infant steps in solving the issue of something more damaging than “fake news”. 

By the way, I despise that description. Every time I hear it, I can imagine a teething ring-sucking two year old in the corner bawling about punishment for basically being of a two year old mentality. 

This faction of good old fashioned, opinionated, barking at the political moon apple pie has grown weary of being hand-slapped for what they honestly, completely and without question believe are the revelation of facts the evil and crooked “MAINSTREAM MEDIA” seeks only to bury deep in the bowels of partisan fear. 

There’s another phrase I despise, “mainstream media”. We’ll get into that another day. Suffice to say that commentary will also induce the exploding of certain heads. 

I’m all for being able to spout and spit on social media. Some of the greatest laughs I’ve been led to over the past year or so some from reading posts on social media where I no longer question the IQ of the person writing them, but whether they take breaks from writing by imbibing from a sippy cup and stretching to see if their bonds can be just a tad looser around the wrists. 

The ones about Hillary Clinton and Democrats capturing children at a New Jersey pizza parlor and them using their blood as cocktail mix was the one that led me to use the “DELETE” selection on Facebook so often, I was sent a warning about overloading their servers due to the speed and deliberant method it was being done. 

Which brings us to Parler, which began life as being pronounced “par-LAY”. A verb that translates simply to “talk”, and has been used over the centuries as a desire to negotiate between disagreeable factions. Here in America, where everything is dumbed down to make it more amenable to the huddled masses, it has simply become “PAR-ler”. Much like the person I recall years ago ordering an appetizer at a very chic restaurant and then proclaiming to their partner, “Hey, these “es-CAR-gots” aren’t too bad!”

Parler isn’t anything new, launched in 2018 by a couple of software geeks who were seeking a way to cash in big on the far, far, FAR right wingnuts who would be willing to help raise their bottom line price to attract investors so they could one day cash out, and then talk about how they took in so many suckers with an idea based on disinformation and propaganda. 

Oh, wait. I’m sorry. They were seeking to triumph a new and important wave of social information and discussion to overcome the evil “mainstream media”, counter their “fake news”, and “make America great again“!

That sentence alone should count as a triple Scrabble score. 

Parler has become the haven for a  wide array of entertainers. The 200,000+ accounts based in Saudi Arabia pushing lies about the government and their “benevolence” toward citizens. The massive number of Brazilian based accounts pointing to COVID19 as a phony. Dan Haggerty character look alike Senator Ted Cruz, still wondering if his Father was indeed part of the JFK assassination plot. Tens of thousands of accounts traced right back to the Russian government and their electioneering disinformation campaign. And the usual stragglers who remain steadfast in their belief that CNN actually stands for “Cable Nudes Network”, and has a secret handshake whereby members are allowed access to pizza parties featuring missing children. 

In the wake of the 2020 Presidential election, Parler is now one of, if not the, fastest growing app being downloaded onto American phones and computers. The service is seeing an exponential boom in users who believe this is the home of real free speech, where they can spew and salivate at any pace they wish without fear of censorship. 

Well, not exactly. You see, while the Parler money launderers…I mean, management…decry what they claim are lies and fraud over the removal and censorship of Donald Trump when he states misinformation that the afore mentioned two year old could spot, Parler itself is starting to tack down a bit on what makes their little piece of heaven so special. Add to this a whopping number of people seeking to sign up just so they can monitor the entertainment value are being turned away for not being worthy or their politics don’t meet the level of righteousness the site desires, you can see just a little sliver of caution being exercised. 

Parler is also becoming keenly aware of what makes their site so special, and why, as stated in the headline, it is the most important social media app of our generation. At least, to this moment. Someone is bound to come along with something more outrageous and darkly comedic. 

We need Parler right now more than ever before. 

Three reasons. 

1. Oh, so THAT’S what you’re really thinking. 

Time was before Facebook and Twitter busted the darker and more fraudulent comments and content, it was easy to ascertain who the propaganda purveyors were. All you had to do was read. Now, it’s a bit more difficult to find the ones who leave the mental basement door open for far too long a period of time. Not impossible, just more difficult. The wild-eyed and minded among us need an outlet for their disinformation, and now they have a new sandbox to play in where most of us will never venture. At the same time, despite ballyhooing themselves as a bastion of “free speech”, Parler is a true “parlor trick” of such nonsense, readily snapping out of existence those they arbitrarily see as not playing with their own propaganda programming. Still, allowing the addled believers this outlet is the perfect manner to uncover them for who and what they really are, such as when the police chief in Arkansas, a man charged with protecting the civil and legal rights of every American citizen regardless of race, creed or political affiliation, took to Parler seeking “Death to all Marxist Democrats!”. Despite his hope that now being in Parler would keep his comments only among fellow keyboard revolutionaries, it didn’t take long for the world to get his drift, and the city to get his badge. 

2. Privacy? Really? Haven’t you learned anything???

This remains the single greatest comedic bit since the first court jester made light of the Queen’s wardrobe and was summarily shown the door with a first stop at the rather large tree trunk just outside the palace. If it’s on the web, it’s there for the taking and reading. The dog didn’t eat your homework, gremlins didn’t tinkle in your coffee, the underpants gnomes are not getting rich by absconding with and selling off your garments, Gilbert Gottfried is not a comedic genius, and anything you use a computer and the internet for is splashed around the world in milliseconds. Parler will continue to attract those who believe it’s making things better in America at a time when a little simple cooperation and friendly conversating is needed, when in effect, it’s not even close. This is a new social media megaphone for one segment of the great rabble rousers. 

3. Employers and Human Resources now have background checks without spending a penny. 

Here’s the big one for all you Parler pundits. Human resource departments across America have been making it a staple before hiring to look into every crevice of your social media presence. Keeping in mind that plenty of it is public, and as I pointed out a few moments ago NOTHING is private on the internet, they are sitting back and with a few keystrokes, along with a well-disguised presence on Facebook, Twitter, You Tube, Parler and every other social media gathering, uncovering exactly what and who they don’t want working for them. Sure, you’ll find a few knuckleheaded companies where someone on the chain gets a jolly or two about reading the latest and greatest about conspiracy theories and when the mole people will rise to power in America, but businesses thrive on cashing in with people from every and no political party, people who love and hate Trump, people who love and hat Biden, people who believe “The Bachelorette” is real and not scripted, along with every other whackadoodle seeking to be recognized and feted for their insightful commentary. For employers, it’s all about the green. That stack of resumes will be easily burned down to a precious few once they blow out the muckrakers and mire from Parler.

So in the end, Parler will indeed serve a meaningful purpose, as those honestly concerned with bringing America back from the abyss will readily and gleefully use it to separate the wheat from the chaff, the wingnut from the champion. Parler will attract its desired audience, and when they are separated from civilized society as being unworthy of our attention and more proper for our contempt, they will blame that society for their ills and woes. They will refuse to take responsibility for their actions, and their lack of any success will rest on those who wrongfully characterized them as hateful, spiteful, carriers of a disinformation and propaganda virus that is choking America, keeping it from attaining a level of home and global respect that has been so easily shed these last four years. 

The dog didn’t eat their homework. It was devoured by their own actions, and the likes of sycophantic, smashmouth media purveyors of putrid bile such as Breitbart, OANN, Newsmax, the Examiner sites, Gateway Pundit, reprehensible political frauds the likes of Jim Jordan and his ilk, and those who aren’t in this for substantive change. They’re all in it for the cash. 

Parler stock is going up. Investors are waving blank checks. Everyone will cash in. 

Save for those powering this social media engine of American destruction. 

The time has come for sensible Americans to use places such as Parler to tear down the walls these lemmings are hiding behind. 

The one Mexico isn’t paying for.

So c’mon in, Parler devotees! The water in your own swamp is just deep enough to bury you, and shallow enough to expose you.